Not Dead Yet!

I've had my first new chemo/treatment. This is a new world and it was a bit of a challenge.

The Port

My New Companion -- A Port

First I needed to have a port installed.  You've heard me mention that it is getting difficult to find a vein. I checked into "Interventional Radiology" on Monday, and they put this small titanium circle with a silicon membrane in the middle under my skin, ran a little tube into a vein, and this will serve as my new injection site from now on. I thought I was going to be awake for it, but nope. After they put the drape over my head, and washed my skin up orange with iodine, I was out. I woke up to skin glue and a little bruise at the site, just under my right shoulder in my chest. I did feel a bit of pain over my right shoulder, like someone had shot at me through a Kevlar vest.  But today, I feel only a little itchy.

Thursday was new chemo day. I was so full of questions, and hubby and I were full of dread. I had complained to my therapist (I recommend a therapist) that this round of chemo felt differently. In the last round of chemo, I had been armed ahead of time with medications, instructions and all sorts of information. This time, a curt little phone call from the scheduler was all I got until I reached out to them.

"Patients who get chemotherapy a second time don't get a class," the nurse told me. What class? Someone sat with me the last time and explained everything in detail. "There isn't really much to do. Just show up when you should."

Ooooh-kay. Why am I not getting the same treatment as last time? Has this become just proforma? Or is it worse? There's no hope anyway, so we're just going to go through the motions. You can see why I might start to draw that conclusion. I knew what was going to happen last time. Now I'm at a much more advanced stage, and...nothing. Stage IV patients need much more, not less information! Hey, we're not dead yet!

When we arrived, we got Nurse Ratched.  You remember her from before.  Not good. Nurse Ratched does one task at a time. She speaks only with the patient, never with family. Her interpersonal skills are, well, ratchety.

At least she had more information:

• I would get Taxol every week. 
• I will get  Perjeta followed by Herceptin, every 21 days
• I would do this for 4 cycles, 12 weeks
• No weeks off, unless blood counts demanded
• It was likely that I would continue the Herceptin for another year (or, I've learned, as long as my heart holds out and it works -- both of which may eventually be a problem.)

She asked if I would like some Ativan for the anxiety. I said no, hubby insisted. Fine. I chewed a quarter tab and made it look like a half.  I wanted to not be loopy. Work might need me. I have to admit, it helped a bit to relax.

But hubby was furious. She wouldn't answer his questions or talk to him. That's why he was here! He needed to be my memory for the whole list of items we needed to ask: we were going to Austin and we had to work that into the schedule. I needed to understand my new schedule anyway. What side effects were likely; might I be allergic to Taxol and would they be ready for that, given my history -- on and on.... He was so angry he eventually had to walk away.

The fun then began. As she pressed into my port, it hurt a bit, but that ended quickly.  She began the drip, and I handled the Perjeta just fine. She waited an hour and started the Herceptin. That was fine too...until suddenly, I was shivering and sore all over.

They call it the "rigors." It's usually associated with a fever and is an immune system reaction. Apparently the Herceptin was not well-liked by my system. I began to cry -- I was filled with dread that I couldn't take this vitally needed drug. They ran and got my oncologist's PA. She prescribed Demerol. "This is not in my head," I said. "It feels just like the Neulasta reaction."  Nonetheless, they pushed the Demerol. Well, the shivering stopped -- apparently this is a thing that happens. So did everything else for about eight hours.

The rest of the day went uneventfully. The Taxol didn't cause a reaction, so far as I know-- I was mostly sleeping. The PA came back. I could hear them talking, but I didn't feel like opening my eyes, so I just listened to them whispering. I wonder if this will happen next time, but it might not. It wasn't an allergic reaction, it was an immune system reaction to something foreign. It won't be so foreign next time. If it does, I'll get happy drugs, plus they may move up the steroid I get with the Taxol so I don't react.  I woke up for good at about 8:30 p.m. (I was given the push at about 1:30 p.m.)  Sure enough, work had exploded. I did some work while hubby played LA Noire.

Today, I feel well. No nausea, I felt really energetic in the morning. I'm hoping this lasts, but it is possible that, as the steroid wears off, the wellness feeling will go with it. Eventually, this will catch up, though, and my system will suppress a bit. I may have neuropathy. Who knows what else. But I'll take today.

How's your day? Feel free to tell me in the comments.